Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Okay sumthing of substance :)

Ello =]

Okay so I posted sumthing that was totally retarded (like 5 mins ago) so I think I should post sumthing of a little more substance…soo here goes, sorry if it doesn't make a lot of sense, its 2:12 in the morning so cut me a lil slack, there may be, most likely will be, a lot of mistakes

Okay so a while back I was watching Sex and the City with a couple of the girls, and I came to a realization. No not only that im UBER gay but sumthing even less obvious. It came to me after that one chick was pregnant and she said she didn't wanna ruin her goodluck because everything in her life was going really well…well this got me thinking…thinking about a flaw many people share..

The flaw is quite simple, when things are going well, we become scared of how they can go wrong, and in turn purposely sabotage our own happiness…that's it. Yeah it might sound simple (or not), but the problem has so many more drastic consequences…as I was thinking about this problem I looked into my life and looked at times when I sabotaged myself..the prime example of this (and bare with me because its gonna get blah) can be seen im my past relationship. Now if you don't know me it don't really matter because im going to address my own personal problem. The problem was that when I felt truly happy, and lord knows I did, I felt like it was to good to be true. I felt like I don't deserve that happiness, and sometimes it made me sad. Does anyone else ever feel like that? HOW THE FUCK CAN HAPPINESS MAKE YOU SAD?!?! Geez that's wat im thinking now, but at the time, it did. And most of the times, out of desperation, I found someway make my BF mad at me, or something, bnothing big, but it was always enough to ruin our happiness. And now that I think about it, maybe it was my fault that he left me….hmmm…anywayss

Just as this problem complicated, and kinda ruined (a lil bit anyways), my life, it can ,and probably in some way has, done the same to your life….so wats the solution?...hmm well here is where it gets complicated…


 

First…you must learn to love yourself. happiness, true happiness, starts from within….no one has the power to make you sad, unless you let them


 

Second…learn to love others…don't be afraid to let others in…im not saying that ppl wont hurt you..but the most vital lessons in life are learned through this pain, and if your lucky, some of these people wll make you happy


 

Third and finally…when you reach that happiness, and you will, make sure that you believe that you deserve it. Because you do. Life has a way of kicking our asses, so don't think you haven't paid enough for the happiness you are feeling.

Well I think that's all…im sorry if it didn't make sense I tried a lil and well its 2:30ish now my writng might be crap lol..anyways yeahhh byeeeee xD

(I DON'T PROOFREAD TILL AFTER I POST LOL)

2:00 AM random thoughts lol

OKieee so like this is my first blog on this blogger thinger and I hope im totally doing this correctly, I used to write them on my myspace, but this looks so much more professional for some reason lol plus my blog gets its own URL thingy and I think that's totally cool lol..anywaysss OMG its like 2:00 AM and im still not asleep, ugh I should be finishing HWK but I blame windows cause as I was opening a new blank document, a new blog thing opened and I clicked it and then I was forced…AGAINST MY WILL XD… to make a blog lol


 

Okay okay, so this blog has nothing of substance and I swear they will get better, for anyone who reads these thingies..so yeahhh toodles J